I'm Quitting Smoking: Day 1

Day 1. I am so ancy. I keep reminding myself over and over why I am doing this.

The hubby and I quit before we started trying to get pregnant on July 25, 2010. We didn't start back until LB was 6 weeks old. I guess with all of the stress and lack of sleep, I just really wanted to smoke again. I now know that I can't "have just one" and be ok. I can't have any. At all. I need to quit forever. I want to be healthy for LB.

So today is the day. The hubby and I are quitting together again. We are not using the patch or anything. We re going cold turkey this time. I just want to get it out of my system, even though the next couple weeks will probably be hell. I can already feel the b*tch in me coming out. I hate it. I wish it wasn't so hard. I have a terrible headache and I am restless and ancy. I hope I don't gain weight this time around.

Wish me luck!!

Half a Year?

I can not believe LB is 6 months old. Time sure is flying. I am amazed that it has been half a year since we first met our precious little boy. Here is a pic :)

He really is the happiest baby. He is always smiling and laughing. I love his laugh. It cracks me up! I love him so much more than words can express. I have decided to write a letter the day before he turns 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, and a year, and then every half year after that to him. I already posted the first one. Here is the second one. It pretty much sums up my experience these last 3 months.

Dear sweet boy,

            Tomorrow you will be 6 months old. Time has flown by so fast. I am so proud to be your mommy. You are so cute and just keep getting cuter and cuter every day. You had your 6 month check-up today. You were 15 lbs and 13 oz and you are 26 inches long. You have a big ole head too! We expect you to be very smart, haha.

            Since the last letter I wrote so much has happened. You are growing so fast, almost too fast. I'm trying so hard to treasure each moment, because before I know it you won't be little bitty anymore, and you may not enjoy cuddling as much. I look forward to all of our wonderful moments we will share together. You laugh all the time now, and think mommy and daddy are pretty silly. You are always smiling and people wonder if you ever cry. You do, but not much. You are such a good baby. I really have been blessed. You are rolling all over the place now. Front to back and left to right. You want to go so bad, and I think you will be crawling soon. You blow raspberries all the time and you love squealing and making noises. You started eating cereal. You did not like rice but you love oatmeal, and so far you have had avocado and butternut squash. Your daddy has been making the food himself. He is such a good daddy and he loves you so much.

            You started sleeping through the night, for the most part. You go to bed around 7 and wake up around 6. I love the schedule you are on, but you aren't much of a napper. Sometimes you nap ok. Last weekend it was just us at the house and we took really long naps together all weekend. You were such a good cuddler. It truly melts my heart when you curl into me and fall asleep. I sing to you a lot, and you love it. You just look up at me and smile. It is the sweetest thing. I usually sing "You Are My Sunshine" or the "twa la la" song my mom used to sing to me.

            Your daddy and I are so very proud of you. We show you off and beam with pride anytime we take you somewhere. You get a lot of attention, because you are so very cute and you have super chunky cheeks that everyone just wants to pinch. Your eyes are beautiful. They are crystal blue and you have such long eyelashes. You are perfect. I love you so much baby boy. You make my world complete and a much better place. I love you to the moon and back!!

                                                                        Love you,

                                                                                    Mommy

I am so in love. He truly is the best baby and a gift from God. 

LB is 5 Months Old!

Holy camoly where has time gone?? I really need to get better about updating this. It is 2012 now, and that means LB was born last year! This makes me a little sad. I really need to soak up every minute I have with LB because time sure does fly. I find myself thinking about the future a lot, like when he starts crawling, walking, running around. I really want to stop doing that though and just enjoy NOW. I know I will miss this time where he needs me for everything and needs me to carry him around. I love it and do not want to rush a single moment.

I gotta say I am really getting better at this being a mother thing. It is hard, but I am slowly getting better and better, and I love it. This is the most rewarding job. I am also very proud of myself for how I have adapted to everything with him. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments. I especially hate when I'm out somewhere and need hubby to practically do everything because it is harder for me in different places. I have gotten much better at everything though. I also gotta say, as a very impatient person (I'm working on that) I am never impatient with LB. It is amazing how he just puts me in slow down mode.

I guess I owe it to him to be patient, since he is so very patient with me. It may take me 20 minutes to put on his pants, but he just sits there and watches me and smiles. He was truly sent from God just for me. I am so in love.

He rolled over back to belly for the first time a couple weeks ago. I was soooo excited! At 4 months we started him on cereal. He has had avocados a couple times and rice cereal but right now he prefers the oatmeal. I am still waiting to feed him the other stuff. I'd like to try to wait until 6 months but I'm just so excited I don't know if I can wait. We bought a baby bullet and plan to make his food. Hopefully I'll have the patience for that. I know it will be good for him.

I have a few New Year's resolutions.
1. Be a great mommy.
2. Be a great wife.
3. More patience.
4. Pay off bills.
5. Slow down and take it all in.

Number 5 is so important. I have so much to look forward to this year. I need to remember to just soak it all in. Life is good. I love my life.

My major Cutie

So Much to Be Thankful For!

It has been a while! LB is 4 months and 1 week old! Time is flying. I am back at work now. It has been hard. I miss him so much when I am at work, and just can't wait to get home to his sweet smiles and laughs. He is growing so fast. At his 4 month check up he was 13 lbs 10 oz, 24 1/2 inches!

I am doing great. I have been working hard at losing the weight. I have lost 35 lbs so far. I also started weightwatchers and that is helping a lot. I still have a lot to lose. I lost all of the pregnancy weight but I still gotta lose that "I got married and got fat" weight.

LB slept through the night last night. 8:30-7! AWESOME!!! I was so excited. We just started feeding him rice cereal so I think that is helping. Also we dropped the swaddle too. I am so proud with how good he is doing. I do believe I have the best little boy in the whole wide world! :)

I am so looking forward to Christmas. We took LB to see Santa. He was so cute. Even though he will have no idea what's really going on I can't wait to give him his presents!

That's all for now. Merry Christmas!!

A Letter to my Baby

Dear sweet boy,

         Tomorrow you will be 3 months olds. I can not believe how fast time flies. I am sitting here at home with you while daddy is at work. This is my last week home with you before I have to go back to work, and I am soaking up every second of it. You have been the sweetest, most precious baby. You have been so patient with me as I have learned to adapt to new things.

          The first time I changed your diaper I was so nervous, but you just sat there so still and patient and watched me while I did it. When I changed your outfit, no matter how long it took or how uncomfortable it was for you, you sat there patiently the whole time. I am so grateful for such a sweet boy, and I am so sure this will carry on throughout your life.

          I was unable to hold you when you were first born because I was sick and had to have medicine, but I remember the very moment you were born. It was 9:05pm and I heard the doctor's say, "wow look at all of that hair!" Then I heard your first cry. They brought me to you and you heard my voice and instantly looked at me. I was so overwhelmed with love for you, and always will be for the rest of my life. You daddy took such good care of you the next day when mommy was sick. He loves you so much and is such an amazing father. He took great care of me too. He was incredible for the both of us. When I was finally able to hold you my heart wanted to explode from all of the love I had for you.

          I just could not believe you were my son. You were so perfect. You were absolutely sweet and the nurses just adored you. I loved your head full of hair. It was so cute and you still have that crazy head full of hair. It sticks up all over the place and people tell me all of the time how much they love it. It still blows my mind to think you are my son. How did I get so lucky? God truly gave me the greatest blessing when he sent me you.

          I can't say that it hasn't been hard. My body hurts and I'm so tired all of the time. I have had to overcome some things I didn't think I would be able to do. You made things so much easier for me though, because you are such a wonderful baby. When I see your adorable smiles and hear you giggle, those 2am feedings don't seem so bad. My life is so much more wonderful with you in it!!

          I want you to know that I will always love you. You will always be my baby. I will be here to support you in whatever you do. You and your father are the most important things in my life and I would do anything for the two of you. I will be there for you whenever you need me. You make me the happiest girl in the whole world. I am so proud to be your mother and always will be.

                                                                        Love you forever,

                                                                                mommy

Mommy Duties

So being a mom is hard. Really hard. I don't think I was ever prepared for just how hard it is. I keep looking forward to the day everyone tells me it gets easier, whenever that might be. My little one is almost 12 weeks...so hard to believe!! He is growing so much and gets cuter and cuter every day. He is smiling all of the time and has started trying to laugh. He has a blast on the kick and play piano mat we just got him, which is so much fun to watch. These are the things that make all of the hard work worth it.

Lack of sleep is the biggest obstacle. I have had a couple of full nights sleep thanks to grandparents and my wonderful hubby, but apparently I need more. Sometimes I just break down from so little sleep and I feel terrible for complaining and it makes me feel like a terrible mother. I know I'm a good mom though and I just have to remember that.

He is getting bigger and wigglier so some things are getting more difficult. Diaper changes...not too bad but getting harder. He is getting heavier. It is getting cold so we have to start putting him in winter clothes which means more snaps.

I do absolutely love being a mother though. It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done, and also the most difficult. Just because it is hard does not mean I don't love it. I feel extremely proud of myself for the things I have overcome so far. I love my little man so much. I really need to remember how fast time flies and soon I will miss this.