LB will be 2 months next Saturday. I can't believe how fast time is flying. I figured I would finally update since all I have put recently is a couple of tickers. The last 2 months have been the most difficult and also the most rewarding months of my life.
Hubby finally went back to work a couple weeks ago, so 3 days a week it has just been me and little buddy. Those days are hard, I'm not gunna lie. I think they would be hard for anyone. It is so nice to have someone to share the responsibilities with. The days he works I do everything, including the every night shift. LB has been going through good and bad times at night. Sometimes he will have 5 hour stretches and sometimes they will only be 2 hours. Those are hard. I have never been "fun" on lack of sleep, so these last couple of months have been challenging to say the least. Oh my gosh I miss sleep so much! It is all sooooo worth it though!!
I finally figured out the car seat issue. I can get it in and out of the car now. We had to create an adjustment to help, and it works. Today the hubby is working and I am taking him out by myself for this first time. I'm nervous but it needs to be done. I hope it is easy and works out ok.
My emotions have still been crazy. Post-partum hormones are serious. Lack of sleep does not help either. Sometimes I really beat myself up. I have good days and bad. When I'm here by myself and LB gets upset and I can't calm him like hubby does, it really throws me off and I get really upset. Hubby can walk around with him and pat his butt and I can't do that. Yes I have calmed him plenty of times but sometimes I think negatively. Luckily I have a great hubby that reminds me of all the things I have done and can do. I really need to work on my confidence and stop beating myself up.
He has started smiling here and there, and that melts my heart so much!! He is absolutely precious and I am so in love. He is getting so big and has already grown out of some of his clothes which makes me excited but sad too at how fast its going. This week is our anniversary and my birthday is the week after so next weekend we are letting him stay a couple nights at his grandparent's house. I am so nervous and I am going to miss him like crazy!!
Despite my crazy emotions at times I truly am so happy and feel so blessed. I have a wonderful family of 3 now and I could not be more happy. I look forward to so much!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Little Buddy
For the sake of our privacy and with this being a public blog, I will call our baby Little Buddy, and abbreviate that to LB. That's what I have been calling him, and I'm sure it will stick, at least for me. So LB will be 4 weeks old on Monday. Time is flying already! He is so perfect and precious, and I am so so in love. He is just the best baby and hardy ever cries, at least for now. He did have a fussy time yesterday but unfortunately I think he may have a cold, and might even have some reflux.
So the last 4 weeks have been great. I love LB so much. I have had my ups and downs though. My hormones have been out of control. Things are pretty difficult with arthrogryposis, and mix in some crazy hormones and you get a hot mess. The first couple of weeks I pretty much let the hubby do everything. I was scared I would hurt him or wouldn't do something right. The only thing I was good at was hold him and singing to him and talking to him. I could tell he adored me, which made things a lot easier, but I was still depressed that I wasn't able or felt like I could do more.
I wanted to breastfeed so bad. That was my first set-back. It was too difficult to find a good position to hold him in, plus my milk never really came in very good. Then we went to formula and fed him with a bottle. Who knew holding a baby and a bottle and trying to burp him would be so hard. That has been the hardest thing for me, and feeding my baby is the most important thing! Can you imagine how my emotions have been? I have been having the hubby feed him most of the time. I have mastered diaper changes and even changing clothes, but the feeding...ahh. It is so hard. I just don't want to jostle him too much and I don't want to hurt him when I'm moving him around trying to burp him. The hubby says I do great but I just am not the most confident with that yet.
I still have things I have to learn that I haven't had to really deal with yet, like getting the carseat out of the car. I will get there. I am feeling more confident every day. I hope to master the feeding soon. It is tough though, but like I have done with everything else growing up, I will keep trying until I get it! My little one deserves it. He truly is great and so patient with me. I am so blessed.
So the last 4 weeks have been great. I love LB so much. I have had my ups and downs though. My hormones have been out of control. Things are pretty difficult with arthrogryposis, and mix in some crazy hormones and you get a hot mess. The first couple of weeks I pretty much let the hubby do everything. I was scared I would hurt him or wouldn't do something right. The only thing I was good at was hold him and singing to him and talking to him. I could tell he adored me, which made things a lot easier, but I was still depressed that I wasn't able or felt like I could do more.
I wanted to breastfeed so bad. That was my first set-back. It was too difficult to find a good position to hold him in, plus my milk never really came in very good. Then we went to formula and fed him with a bottle. Who knew holding a baby and a bottle and trying to burp him would be so hard. That has been the hardest thing for me, and feeding my baby is the most important thing! Can you imagine how my emotions have been? I have been having the hubby feed him most of the time. I have mastered diaper changes and even changing clothes, but the feeding...ahh. It is so hard. I just don't want to jostle him too much and I don't want to hurt him when I'm moving him around trying to burp him. The hubby says I do great but I just am not the most confident with that yet.
I still have things I have to learn that I haven't had to really deal with yet, like getting the carseat out of the car. I will get there. I am feeling more confident every day. I hope to master the feeding soon. It is tough though, but like I have done with everything else growing up, I will keep trying until I get it! My little one deserves it. He truly is great and so patient with me. I am so blessed.
Friday, August 26, 2011
August 15th, 2011, My Birth Story
August 15th, 2011, 9:05pm....the day and time my precious baby boy was born! He was a healthy 6 lbs and 13.5 ounces! He was 19 inches long. He was born 3 1/2 weeks early but was healthy and perfect! Mommy on the other hand had a rough time!
So it has been a crazy couple of weeks! I will start from the beginning. On that Monday morning, August 15th, I woke up around 2am with terrible pain in my upper abdomen. I was so miserable I was crying. I tried to distract myself and eat something but I was miserable. I called the doctor's office and they told me to come on in to get checked out. I figured it was probably me just not dealing with my body changes well and baby just growing more so I said I'd wait a couple of hours and see if it got better first. I did not want to waste a trip to Labor and Delivery. I did not think it was labor at all. Well a couple hours passed and I wasn't feeling better. I went ahead and called in from work. The phone rang and it was my husband's work letting him know that he could be off for the day if he wanted. I told him that it would probably be a good idea if he took off, so he accepted the day off. It was as if the day was planned perfectly for us. God was truly looking after us. I told him what was going on, called the doc again, and she said definitely come in. So we went to the hospital. We grabbed our packed hospital bag and the carseat, just in case, even though we both felt like it was not really necessary but would still be prepared.
We got to the hospital around 6am and was admitted to a room. I had blood drawn and was hooked up to monitors that listen to the baby. Now I am no nurse or medical expert so everything I'm about to tell you may make no sense. I just remember bits and pieces and don't really know how to explain it well. My blood pressure was high and I had some swelling. I was put on a 24 hour urine test. I had to have a gallbladder ultrasound. At first they were only going to admit me overnight, and then things started changing and happening fast. The tests came back (I had 2 sets done) and after the first set they decided I would definitely need to be induced. Then the OB doctor came in a told me that I had HELLP, and told me about it. Here's a link to understand it more: http://www.preeclampsia.org/health-information/hellp-syndrome . She checked my cervix and it looked like I would be very difficult to induce and that because of HELLP I would need to deliver quickly. I had the option of inducing or having a c-section. I opted for the c-section for the sake of my baby and my own health.
I was then admitted to labor and delivery to get anesthesia. I had to have a central line put in because I am such a difficult stick, and they would need easy access for the IV, blood tests, and any emergency medicine I might need. That was not fun...nope. I then had the epidural...not fun either but better. I could tell the symptoms were getting worse. I was swelling and my vision was blurring. Once I delivered I would have to be put on magnesium for 24 hrs. I went back for the c-section. This was the easiest part of the whole hospital stay. At 9:05pm, I heard them say, "Look at all of that hair!" and then I heard him cry. Then I cried. My baby was here. Finally. And he was perfect. They brought him over and he knew my voice and opened his eyes to me. It was the greatest moment of my life. I was instantly in love.
I was taken back to the room and put on the 24 hr magnesium. Being on that was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I don't remember much about August 16, 2011. I was so sick, and so miserable, but luckily I was getting better. God really looked out for us during that time. My arms were so swollen that I could not lift them. I could not hold my precious son. My husband would hold him against my chest and my son would look up at me with the sweetest eyes. It was a tough day but I was so lucky.
I finally reached 24 hrs and was able to go to post-pardom. I would have to stay until Friday morning. My blood pressure was checked regularly. It finally went down so that I could go home. It was the greatest feeling getting to leave that hospital and drive home as a family. :)
I have to say that I fell in love with my husband all over again. Not that I wasn't in love already, but after everything we went through together last week, and I didn't think it was possible, but I love him even more. He has been incredible. He was right there by my side the entire time and helped me so much. He is the most amazing man I have ever known. I am very blessed and grateful that God sent him to me to be my husband. Also family was amazing. Our parents were so very helpful during that week and we are so so thankful. I have so much to be thankful for.
So we have been home for one week as of today. I had planned on breastfeeding, but it turned out to be more difficult for me that I thought. First of all, I guess because I was so sick, my milk had a hard time coming in. Second, I had a very hard time trying to hold him right to get a good position for him to latch. I'm still trying to get used to holding the baby, feeding, and changing diapers and clothes. It is difficult, but hopefully I will get it. Luckily I gave birth to the sweetest most patient baby ever. He is so patient with me when I am changing him or snapping buttons. He loves when I hold him. I truly feel blessed and I am so in love. I have so much to look forward to!!! :)
So it has been a crazy couple of weeks! I will start from the beginning. On that Monday morning, August 15th, I woke up around 2am with terrible pain in my upper abdomen. I was so miserable I was crying. I tried to distract myself and eat something but I was miserable. I called the doctor's office and they told me to come on in to get checked out. I figured it was probably me just not dealing with my body changes well and baby just growing more so I said I'd wait a couple of hours and see if it got better first. I did not want to waste a trip to Labor and Delivery. I did not think it was labor at all. Well a couple hours passed and I wasn't feeling better. I went ahead and called in from work. The phone rang and it was my husband's work letting him know that he could be off for the day if he wanted. I told him that it would probably be a good idea if he took off, so he accepted the day off. It was as if the day was planned perfectly for us. God was truly looking after us. I told him what was going on, called the doc again, and she said definitely come in. So we went to the hospital. We grabbed our packed hospital bag and the carseat, just in case, even though we both felt like it was not really necessary but would still be prepared.
We got to the hospital around 6am and was admitted to a room. I had blood drawn and was hooked up to monitors that listen to the baby. Now I am no nurse or medical expert so everything I'm about to tell you may make no sense. I just remember bits and pieces and don't really know how to explain it well. My blood pressure was high and I had some swelling. I was put on a 24 hour urine test. I had to have a gallbladder ultrasound. At first they were only going to admit me overnight, and then things started changing and happening fast. The tests came back (I had 2 sets done) and after the first set they decided I would definitely need to be induced. Then the OB doctor came in a told me that I had HELLP, and told me about it. Here's a link to understand it more: http://www.preeclampsia.org/health-information/hellp-syndrome . She checked my cervix and it looked like I would be very difficult to induce and that because of HELLP I would need to deliver quickly. I had the option of inducing or having a c-section. I opted for the c-section for the sake of my baby and my own health.
I was then admitted to labor and delivery to get anesthesia. I had to have a central line put in because I am such a difficult stick, and they would need easy access for the IV, blood tests, and any emergency medicine I might need. That was not fun...nope. I then had the epidural...not fun either but better. I could tell the symptoms were getting worse. I was swelling and my vision was blurring. Once I delivered I would have to be put on magnesium for 24 hrs. I went back for the c-section. This was the easiest part of the whole hospital stay. At 9:05pm, I heard them say, "Look at all of that hair!" and then I heard him cry. Then I cried. My baby was here. Finally. And he was perfect. They brought him over and he knew my voice and opened his eyes to me. It was the greatest moment of my life. I was instantly in love.
I was taken back to the room and put on the 24 hr magnesium. Being on that was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I don't remember much about August 16, 2011. I was so sick, and so miserable, but luckily I was getting better. God really looked out for us during that time. My arms were so swollen that I could not lift them. I could not hold my precious son. My husband would hold him against my chest and my son would look up at me with the sweetest eyes. It was a tough day but I was so lucky.
I finally reached 24 hrs and was able to go to post-pardom. I would have to stay until Friday morning. My blood pressure was checked regularly. It finally went down so that I could go home. It was the greatest feeling getting to leave that hospital and drive home as a family. :)
I have to say that I fell in love with my husband all over again. Not that I wasn't in love already, but after everything we went through together last week, and I didn't think it was possible, but I love him even more. He has been incredible. He was right there by my side the entire time and helped me so much. He is the most amazing man I have ever known. I am very blessed and grateful that God sent him to me to be my husband. Also family was amazing. Our parents were so very helpful during that week and we are so so thankful. I have so much to be thankful for.
So we have been home for one week as of today. I had planned on breastfeeding, but it turned out to be more difficult for me that I thought. First of all, I guess because I was so sick, my milk had a hard time coming in. Second, I had a very hard time trying to hold him right to get a good position for him to latch. I'm still trying to get used to holding the baby, feeding, and changing diapers and clothes. It is difficult, but hopefully I will get it. Luckily I gave birth to the sweetest most patient baby ever. He is so patient with me when I am changing him or snapping buttons. He loves when I hold him. I truly feel blessed and I am so in love. I have so much to look forward to!!! :)
Sunday, August 7, 2011
35 weeks
Less than 5 weeks today from my due date! I am at that stage in the pregnancy that I had said I wanted to have everything done by. Well, my crazy organized ocd self (and husband) has gotten everything done. I need pj's for the hospital. That is it. The nursery is done, the car seat is installed, we have everything for the baby, the laundry is clean, the house is pretty much spotless...I can now just relax and enjoy these last few weeks with my husband.
I have everything ready for my maternity leave at work. My last day will be August 26. I will be returning December 5. I am so blessed to be able to take that much time off. Everything has been set with work for that to happen. I am sooo ready for my last day. Work is just not where I want to be these days. My work clothes hardly fit anymore and I really do not want to buy more just for 3 more weeks.
I am so grateful for my amazing husband and for how much he has done for us during this pregnancy. I don't know what I would have done without him. He has been incredible. I love him soooo much.
I stopped driving this week. It became too difficult. My husband is taking me to work and my parents are bringing me home. I really appreciate their help. My feet and legs are so swollen. I'm not sure I remember how they looked before, haha. I have apparently pinched a nerve in my back or something because it hurts so much and in my left arm and hands the nerves just feel crazy. It is driving me crazy too. The heart burn has gotten really bad this week. I only hope that means the baby will have a head full of hair. :)
With only 5 weeks left, the excitement is making the misery bearable. It really isn't too bad. I am just so ready to hold my baby and look and him and stare and him all day long. I am so in love with him already. I just can not wait for all of the cuddling.
I have everything ready for my maternity leave at work. My last day will be August 26. I will be returning December 5. I am so blessed to be able to take that much time off. Everything has been set with work for that to happen. I am sooo ready for my last day. Work is just not where I want to be these days. My work clothes hardly fit anymore and I really do not want to buy more just for 3 more weeks.
I am so grateful for my amazing husband and for how much he has done for us during this pregnancy. I don't know what I would have done without him. He has been incredible. I love him soooo much.
I stopped driving this week. It became too difficult. My husband is taking me to work and my parents are bringing me home. I really appreciate their help. My feet and legs are so swollen. I'm not sure I remember how they looked before, haha. I have apparently pinched a nerve in my back or something because it hurts so much and in my left arm and hands the nerves just feel crazy. It is driving me crazy too. The heart burn has gotten really bad this week. I only hope that means the baby will have a head full of hair. :)
With only 5 weeks left, the excitement is making the misery bearable. It really isn't too bad. I am just so ready to hold my baby and look and him and stare and him all day long. I am so in love with him already. I just can not wait for all of the cuddling.
Friday, July 29, 2011
34 weeks
Time really is starting to fly! I am getting super excited, nervous, anxious, etc. My baby will be here in 6 weeks give or take! I am pretty miserable these days, but the excitement is helping me through it. I have another ultrasound in 2 weeks, a group B strep test, and a cervix check. Things are getting real! I still do not know how I will be delivering though. I am hoping for a vaginal delivery, but will do whatever I need to do for baby!
That's all to report this time. I have my last baby shower tomorrow and then we will get everything that we still need. I can't believe how big my belly is. I love it, and I love watching baby move all over. 6 more weeks!!
That's all to report this time. I have my last baby shower tomorrow and then we will get everything that we still need. I can't believe how big my belly is. I love it, and I love watching baby move all over. 6 more weeks!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)