So Much to Be Thankful For!

It has been a while! LB is 4 months and 1 week old! Time is flying. I am back at work now. It has been hard. I miss him so much when I am at work, and just can't wait to get home to his sweet smiles and laughs. He is growing so fast. At his 4 month check up he was 13 lbs 10 oz, 24 1/2 inches!

I am doing great. I have been working hard at losing the weight. I have lost 35 lbs so far. I also started weightwatchers and that is helping a lot. I still have a lot to lose. I lost all of the pregnancy weight but I still gotta lose that "I got married and got fat" weight.

LB slept through the night last night. 8:30-7! AWESOME!!! I was so excited. We just started feeding him rice cereal so I think that is helping. Also we dropped the swaddle too. I am so proud with how good he is doing. I do believe I have the best little boy in the whole wide world! :)

I am so looking forward to Christmas. We took LB to see Santa. He was so cute. Even though he will have no idea what's really going on I can't wait to give him his presents!

That's all for now. Merry Christmas!!

A Letter to my Baby

Dear sweet boy,

         Tomorrow you will be 3 months olds. I can not believe how fast time flies. I am sitting here at home with you while daddy is at work. This is my last week home with you before I have to go back to work, and I am soaking up every second of it. You have been the sweetest, most precious baby. You have been so patient with me as I have learned to adapt to new things.

          The first time I changed your diaper I was so nervous, but you just sat there so still and patient and watched me while I did it. When I changed your outfit, no matter how long it took or how uncomfortable it was for you, you sat there patiently the whole time. I am so grateful for such a sweet boy, and I am so sure this will carry on throughout your life.

          I was unable to hold you when you were first born because I was sick and had to have medicine, but I remember the very moment you were born. It was 9:05pm and I heard the doctor's say, "wow look at all of that hair!" Then I heard your first cry. They brought me to you and you heard my voice and instantly looked at me. I was so overwhelmed with love for you, and always will be for the rest of my life. You daddy took such good care of you the next day when mommy was sick. He loves you so much and is such an amazing father. He took great care of me too. He was incredible for the both of us. When I was finally able to hold you my heart wanted to explode from all of the love I had for you.

          I just could not believe you were my son. You were so perfect. You were absolutely sweet and the nurses just adored you. I loved your head full of hair. It was so cute and you still have that crazy head full of hair. It sticks up all over the place and people tell me all of the time how much they love it. It still blows my mind to think you are my son. How did I get so lucky? God truly gave me the greatest blessing when he sent me you.

          I can't say that it hasn't been hard. My body hurts and I'm so tired all of the time. I have had to overcome some things I didn't think I would be able to do. You made things so much easier for me though, because you are such a wonderful baby. When I see your adorable smiles and hear you giggle, those 2am feedings don't seem so bad. My life is so much more wonderful with you in it!!

          I want you to know that I will always love you. You will always be my baby. I will be here to support you in whatever you do. You and your father are the most important things in my life and I would do anything for the two of you. I will be there for you whenever you need me. You make me the happiest girl in the whole world. I am so proud to be your mother and always will be.

                                                                        Love you forever,

                                                                                mommy

Mommy Duties

So being a mom is hard. Really hard. I don't think I was ever prepared for just how hard it is. I keep looking forward to the day everyone tells me it gets easier, whenever that might be. My little one is almost 12 weeks...so hard to believe!! He is growing so much and gets cuter and cuter every day. He is smiling all of the time and has started trying to laugh. He has a blast on the kick and play piano mat we just got him, which is so much fun to watch. These are the things that make all of the hard work worth it.

Lack of sleep is the biggest obstacle. I have had a couple of full nights sleep thanks to grandparents and my wonderful hubby, but apparently I need more. Sometimes I just break down from so little sleep and I feel terrible for complaining and it makes me feel like a terrible mother. I know I'm a good mom though and I just have to remember that.

He is getting bigger and wigglier so some things are getting more difficult. Diaper changes...not too bad but getting harder. He is getting heavier. It is getting cold so we have to start putting him in winter clothes which means more snaps.

I do absolutely love being a mother though. It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done, and also the most difficult. Just because it is hard does not mean I don't love it. I feel extremely proud of myself for the things I have overcome so far. I love my little man so much. I really need to remember how fast time flies and soon I will miss this.

Almost 2 Months!

LB will be 2 months next Saturday. I can't believe how fast time is flying. I figured I would finally update since all I have put recently is a couple of tickers. The last 2 months have been the most difficult and also the most rewarding months of my life.

Hubby finally went back to work a couple weeks ago, so 3 days a week it has just been me and little buddy. Those days are hard, I'm not gunna lie. I think they would be hard for anyone. It is so nice to have someone to share the responsibilities with. The days he works I do everything, including the every night shift. LB has been going through good and bad times at night. Sometimes he will have 5 hour stretches and sometimes they will only be 2 hours. Those are hard. I have never been "fun" on lack of sleep, so these last couple of months have been challenging to say the least. Oh my gosh I miss sleep so much! It is all sooooo worth it though!!

I finally figured out the car seat issue. I can get it in and out of the car now. We had to create an adjustment to help, and it works. Today the hubby is working and I am taking him out by myself for this first time. I'm nervous but it needs to be done. I hope it is easy and works out ok.

My emotions have still been crazy. Post-partum hormones are serious. Lack of sleep does not help either. Sometimes I really beat myself up. I have good days and bad. When I'm here by myself and LB gets upset and I can't calm him like hubby does, it really throws me off and I get really upset. Hubby can walk around with him and pat his butt and I can't do that. Yes I have calmed him plenty of times but sometimes I think negatively. Luckily I have a great hubby that reminds me of all the things I have done and can do. I really need to work on my confidence and stop beating myself up.

He has started smiling here and there, and that melts my heart so much!! He is absolutely precious and I am so in love. He is getting so big and has already grown out of some of his clothes which makes me excited but sad too at how fast its going. This week is our anniversary and my birthday is the week after so next weekend we are letting him stay a couple nights at his grandparent's house. I am so nervous and I am going to miss him like crazy!!

Despite my crazy emotions at times I truly am so happy and feel so blessed. I have a wonderful family of 3 now and I could not be more happy. I look forward to so much!

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Little Buddy

For the sake of our privacy and with this being a public blog, I will call our baby Little Buddy, and abbreviate that to LB. That's what I have been calling him, and I'm sure it will stick, at least for me. So LB will be 4 weeks old on Monday. Time is flying already! He is so perfect and precious, and I am so so in love. He is just the best baby and hardy ever cries, at least for now. He did have a fussy time yesterday but unfortunately I think he may have a cold, and might even have some reflux.

So the last 4 weeks have been great. I love LB so much. I have had my ups and downs though. My hormones have been out of control. Things are pretty difficult with arthrogryposis, and mix in some crazy hormones and you get a hot mess. The first couple of weeks I pretty much let the hubby do everything. I was scared I would hurt him or wouldn't do something right. The only thing I was good at was hold him and singing to him and talking to him. I could tell he adored me, which made things a lot easier, but I was still depressed that I wasn't able or felt like I could do more.

I wanted to breastfeed so bad. That was my first set-back. It was too difficult to find a good position to hold him in, plus my milk never really came in very good. Then we went to formula and fed him with a bottle. Who knew holding a baby and a bottle and trying to burp him would be so hard. That has been the hardest thing for me, and feeding my baby is the most important thing! Can you imagine how my emotions have been? I have been having the hubby feed him most of the time. I have mastered diaper changes and even changing clothes, but the feeding...ahh. It is so hard. I just don't want to jostle him too much and I don't want to hurt him when I'm moving him around trying to burp him. The hubby says I do great but I just am not the most confident with that yet.

I still have things I have to learn that I haven't had to really deal with yet, like getting the carseat out of the car. I will get there. I am feeling more confident every day. I hope to master the feeding soon. It is tough though, but like I have done with everything else growing up, I will keep trying until I get it! My little one deserves it. He truly is great and so patient with me. I am so blessed.

August 15th, 2011, My Birth Story

August 15th, 2011, 9:05pm....the day and time my precious baby boy was born! He was a healthy 6 lbs and 13.5 ounces! He was 19 inches long. He was born 3 1/2 weeks early but was healthy and perfect! Mommy on the other hand had a rough time!

So it has been a crazy couple of weeks! I will start from the beginning. On that Monday morning, August 15th, I woke up around 2am with terrible pain in my upper abdomen. I was so miserable I was crying. I tried to distract myself and eat something but I was miserable. I called the doctor's office and they told me to come on in to get checked out. I figured it was probably me just not dealing with my body changes well and baby just growing more so I said I'd wait a couple of hours and see if it got better first. I did not want to waste a trip to Labor and Delivery. I did not think it was labor at all. Well a couple hours passed and I wasn't feeling better. I went ahead and called in from work. The phone rang and it was my husband's work letting him know that he could be off for the day if he wanted. I told him that it would probably be a good idea if he took off, so he accepted the day off. It was as if the day was planned perfectly for us. God was truly looking after us. I told him what was going on, called the doc again, and she said definitely come in. So we went to the hospital. We grabbed our packed hospital bag and the carseat, just in case, even though we both felt like it was not really necessary but would still be prepared.

We got to the hospital around 6am and was admitted to a room. I had blood drawn and was hooked up to monitors that listen to the baby. Now I am no nurse or medical expert so everything I'm about to tell you may make no sense. I just remember bits and pieces and don't really know how to explain it well. My blood pressure was high and I had some swelling. I was put on a 24 hour urine test. I had to have a gallbladder ultrasound. At first they were only going to admit me overnight, and then things started changing and happening fast. The tests came back (I had 2 sets done) and after the first set they decided I would definitely need to be induced. Then the OB doctor came in a told me that I had HELLP, and told me about it. Here's a link to understand it more: http://www.preeclampsia.org/health-information/hellp-syndrome . She checked my cervix and it looked like I would be very difficult to induce and that because of HELLP I would need to deliver quickly. I had the option of inducing or having a c-section. I opted for the c-section for the sake of my baby and my own health.

I was then admitted to labor and delivery to get anesthesia. I had to have a central line put in because I am such a difficult stick, and they would need easy access for the IV, blood tests, and any emergency medicine I might need. That was not fun...nope. I then had the epidural...not fun either but better. I could tell the symptoms were getting worse. I was swelling and my vision was blurring. Once I delivered I would have to be put on magnesium for 24 hrs. I went back for the c-section. This was the easiest part of the whole hospital stay. At 9:05pm, I heard them say, "Look at all of that hair!" and then I heard him cry. Then I cried. My baby was here. Finally. And he was perfect. They brought him over and he knew my voice and opened his eyes to me. It was the greatest moment of my life. I was instantly in love.

I was taken back to the room and put on the 24 hr magnesium. Being on that was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I don't remember much about August 16, 2011. I was so sick, and so miserable, but luckily I was getting better. God really looked out for us during that time. My arms were so swollen that I could not lift them. I could not hold my precious son. My husband would hold him against my chest and my son would look up at me with the sweetest eyes. It was a tough day but I was so lucky.

I finally reached 24 hrs and was able to go to post-pardom. I would have to stay until Friday morning. My blood pressure was checked regularly. It finally went down so that I could go home. It was the greatest feeling getting to leave that hospital and drive home as a family. :)

I have to say that I fell in love with my husband all over again. Not that I wasn't in love already, but after everything we went through together last week, and I didn't think it was possible, but I love him even more. He has been incredible. He was right there by my side the entire time and helped me so much. He is the most amazing man I have ever known. I am very blessed and grateful that God sent him to me to be my husband. Also family was amazing. Our parents were so very helpful during that week and we are so so thankful. I have so much to be thankful for.

So we have been home for one week as of today. I had planned on breastfeeding, but it turned out to be more difficult for me that I thought. First of all, I guess because I was so sick, my milk had a hard time coming in. Second, I had a very hard time trying to hold him right to get a good position for him to latch. I'm still trying to get used to holding the baby, feeding, and changing diapers and clothes. It is difficult, but hopefully I will get it. Luckily I gave birth to the sweetest most patient baby ever. He is so patient with me when I am changing him or snapping buttons. He loves when I hold him. I truly feel blessed and I am so in love. I have so much to look forward to!!! :)

35 weeks

Less than 5 weeks today from my due date! I am at that stage in the pregnancy that I had said I wanted to have everything done by. Well, my crazy organized ocd self (and husband) has gotten everything done. I need pj's for the hospital. That is it. The nursery is done, the car seat is installed, we have everything for the baby, the laundry is clean, the house is pretty much spotless...I can now just relax and enjoy these last few weeks with my husband.

I have everything ready for my maternity leave at work. My last day will be August 26. I will be returning December 5. I am so blessed to be able to take that much time off. Everything has been set with work for that to happen. I am sooo ready for my last day. Work is just not where I want to be these days. My work clothes hardly fit anymore and I really do not want to buy more just for 3 more weeks.

I am so grateful for my amazing husband and for how much he has done for us during this pregnancy. I don't know what I would have done without him. He has been incredible. I love him soooo much.

I stopped driving this week. It became too difficult. My husband is taking me to work and my parents are bringing me home. I really appreciate their help. My feet and legs are so swollen. I'm not sure I remember how they looked before, haha. I have apparently pinched a nerve in my back or something because it hurts so much and in my left arm and hands the nerves just feel crazy. It is driving me crazy too. The heart burn has gotten really bad this week. I only hope that means the baby will have a head full of hair. :)

With only 5 weeks left, the excitement is making the misery bearable. It really isn't too bad. I am just so ready to hold my baby and look and him and stare and him all day long. I am so in love with him already. I just can not wait for all of the cuddling.

34 weeks

Time really is starting to fly! I am getting super excited, nervous, anxious, etc. My baby will be here in 6 weeks give or take! I am pretty miserable these days, but the excitement is helping me through it. I have another ultrasound in 2 weeks, a group B strep test, and a cervix check. Things are getting real! I still do not know how I will be delivering though. I am hoping for a vaginal delivery, but will do whatever I need to do for baby!

That's all to report this time. I have my last baby shower tomorrow and then we will get everything that we still need. I can't believe how big my belly is. I love it, and I love watching baby move all over. 6 more weeks!!

33 weeks

So here I am 33 weeks pregnant, and 7 weeks to go! The reality is starting to set in. I get to meet him soon!! It is really starting to take a toll on my body. My hips ache really bad. Different parts of my back hurt at different times. It has gotten to where I am finding it hard to get comfortable at night when I go to bed. My maternity clothes are shrinking (ok I'm growing) and my feet won't fit in my shoes. I have resorted to wearing crocs for the remainder of my pregnancy. They aren't cute but they are comfy.

I am still driving to work, luckily. I would prefer to drive as long as possible. My work has really been great. They are keeping me on my old insurance until the baby comes so that I will not need to pay anything extra or deal with that stress. That is a huge relief. I am extremely grateful.

I have a doc's appointment this Thursday. Once I reach 36 weeks I will be going every week. Crazy how soon my due date is getting here. I am getting so excited. We have mostly everything done. We have our last baby shower this Saturday. Next Saturday is the fantasy football draft. After that...we have nothing planned except to get ready for baby!

Vent

I usually only write once a week but today I needed to vent. If you don't like whiners you may want to skip this entry.

1. It is really hot. My clothes are sticking to me and it is making it hard to get my pants down, which I need to be able to do so that I can pee...
2. I am peeing constantly, day and night. I think I got up 5 times last night.
3. My feet will hardly fit into my shoes anymore.

This day started great until I got to the office and couldn't cool off. I went to the bathroom and had a hard time getting my pants down, finally did, but then trying to get them back up they just rolled all up and got stuck. Luckily my shirt is long so you can't tell, but it's uncomfortable. Hopefully the next time I need to go I will be cooled off and can fix it. I know this is probably too much info, but something as easy as getting your pants down is more difficult for someone with arthrogryposis. It has become even  more difficult the more pregnant I get.

Ok, so that is all for today. Thanks for reading.

32 weeks

Our nursery is almost complete!! Just a few more finishing touches and hanging the wall decorations...and we will be done. Our glider came in last week and I love it. I have been sitting in it just staring at the room and imagining what it will be like when our sweet boy is here. I just can't wait to give him kisses!

We had an appointment and an ultrasound this week. Baby and I are doing great and he is healthy and BIG! According to the ultrasound he is 5.2 lbs already! I know that ultrasounds can be a little off, but wow. I love it, and he just looks so cute. The doctor wants me to get another ultrasound again at 36 weeks, to see where we are then, and then determine whether a c-section will be necessary. I hope to have a vaginal birth, but I will do whatever is best for the baby and myself too.

I still can't really complain with how things are going lately. It has been hot and miserable outside but overall I am feeling pretty good. I have had some headaches/migraines the last couple of weeks though. Hopefully those will cut it out. I had a wonderful baby shower at work this last week and got a lot of great stuff. I am just ready to use it all!!

31 weeks

31 weeks and hello 3rd trimester woes. It is amazing how you can go from feeling great to not so great so quickly. Tomorrow I go in for another ultrasound. I am so excited to see him again, and this time he will be so much bigger so we can maybe see some of his features. Oh I can't wait!

So, as far as how I'm feeling, it has been very come and go. My hormones are nuts, the back has started hurting pretty bad again, I've got a lovely pregnancy waddle going on, my face has been breaking out like crazy, the swelling has gotten worse...haha, sounds fun huh? I remember when I first started researching pregnant women with arthrogryposis, I found a small article about how one lady found it hard towards the end to drive. I have been wondering about this and now that may happen for me too. I am only 5'0, and because of the arthrogryposis my arms are very short. I was lucky to never have to have any adjustments to my car. The steering wheel is getting pretty close and it is becoming uncomfortable to drive. My work has approved me to change my schedule to 7-3:30 so that my hubby and I can ride in together when  it starts getting to be too much. I am grateful for that. I am going to try to work as long as I can.

I think the nesting has started a bit because every chance I get I am working on the nursery or house. I have to take frequent breaks because my back starts hurting, but it is fun. I am so ready. The hubby brought home a training baby and I have been practicing changing diapers, swaddling, and putting on clothes and such. Come on September!!

30 weeks

30 weeks preggers now and sick of the heat! It is so hot and I have been getting miserable. I have to keep reminding myself of the benefits...hot now but cooler when I'm getting used to tugging around all that baby stuff! My feet feel like a ton of bricks from all of the swelling. My back has been okay, but certainly not great. With all of this comes a sometimes not so pleasant Jessica. I have to admit I annoy myself sometimes. I feel sorry for my husband, who ends up getting the worst of my mood swings.

Enough complaining, I only have 10 more weeks! I am so ready to meet my little man, and now even more than ever. We had our baby shower/cookout yesterday and it was awesome. We got a lot of great stuff and have been playing with it all day. It makes everything so much more real, and makes me want it to be September even more.

29 weeks

29 weeks and going strong. Life is good, and things are looking good with the new company I now work for. Things are not perfect like they were but we will manage and get through it. I'm grateful I still have a job, and grateful for the new CEO that has made a really good first impression. He actually gave me a gift card so that I can go and buy something I need for the baby. Wow, such a nice guy.

I have been feeling pretty good still, and have been taking my iron supplement every night. I think it has helped some. I still get pretty exhausted, but my energy is coming back some. My back is slowly starting to hurt again, but I'm okay. It's not nearly like it was several weeks ago. I get so excited each new week that is mostly pain free. This weekend is my baby shower and I am sooo excited. I think it will be a blast. We are having a cookout/pool party, and it is guys and gals. I'm not a big fan of traditional showers, personally. I really think this will be fun and I can not wait to see everyone and have a good time.

My friends had their baby on the 24th and I am so happy for them. He is a healthy baby boy and is just too cute. Tuesday, the hubby's best friend from college's baby is due. I have a feeling birthday parties will be a lot of fun with all of these babies being born around the same time. I can not wait for September...just 11 more weeks!!!

28 weeks

Wow, a lot has happened in one week. Some good, some bad. Let's start with the good.

I had my 28 week check up last Thursday and it went great. Baby is doing great. He is healthy and right on track. It was also my glucose tolerance test. I passed. YAY!! I did find out that I am a bit anemic, and had to start taking iron supplements. No wonder I have been so tired. Other than that, things are going great. My feet are pretty much constantly swollen, but I can handle that. He has been moving around like crazy and the movements are becoming more and more visible and powerful. I absolutely love it. Also, I weighed this morning, and it turns out I have gained 20 pounds! Wow. I am trying to not think too much about it. As long as baby is healthy, I am happy. I will get back into shape after he is born. :)

So last Thursday I also received some very shocking and bad news. The division of the company that I work for was sold. I now work under new leadership, benefits, and policies. This means so many things. This is not great for someone in the middle of a pregnancy. I am fairly organized and quite OCD, so change can definitely rattle me. I have had everything set and planned for my pregnancy and maternity leave for some time now. I planned on taking 12 weeks off, and still do. I had saved up all of my paid time off to help pay for that. Now, that is mostly gone. I'm hoping the new company will provide us similar time off. Also, I will have completely different insurance, which I am very uninformed about, so I do not know what that will mean for me. I've already paid for my pregnancy through the old insurance, so I'm not sure if I'll have to pay more or not. We haven't met to discuss everything yet. Basically the old company sold us off and have nothing to do with us now. I am very disappointed and really thought the company I worked for actually cared about their employees. I feel like they should have given us a heads up and not just threw us out the way that they did. I was able to introduce myself and my concerns to our new CEO, who is super nice. He has assured me I will be taken good care of. I know God will take care of me. He never puts us through anything that we can not handle. I have to have faith.

So that is was is going on right now. I now am going to the doctor every 2 weeks. I am excited for my 32 week appointment because then I get another ultrasound and get to see my little man again! I can not wait!

27 weeks

13 weeks left...wow!! I am now in my third trimester. I am so excited. Things are going great and still going smoothly. I feel like I have really "popped" these last few days. I took my first pregnant picture and can not believe how big I am. I just recently started noticing my belly getting in the way and my maternity clothes getting tighter. I tried to post the picture here but I couldn't figure it out. If you know how...let me know!

The nursery looks great. The hubby has finished the crib and now we just need to put the finishing touches on the room decorations. I am getting more and more anxious for September. My baby shower is July 2nd. Instead of a traditional shower we are having a cookout. Men will be allowed, hamburgers and hot dogs will be served and the pool will be open! I am so excited about it.

Right now I am feeling pretty good. My feet are staying swollen and my back isn't super but both have been tolerable. I hope it stays that way at least a little bit longer. :)

26 weeks

Just a little vent for my "vent": Advice is only appreciated when requested. "Just wait" is an annoying phrase. Sorry, had to get that out. I understand these things are not necessarily being said to me to be annoying, but trust me it is.

Ok, I had to get that out of the way. Maybe that is my way of reminding myself not to do that to others when I look back at this one day. So 26 weeks today. Next week will begin my third trimester. This is what I have decided. The hubby swears up and down that it starts today. Apparently there is no real answer because when I search online it says many different things. Oh well, I'm saying at 27 weeks I'll be in my third trimester. So exciting!!

So the swelling has started! My feet and legs get so swollen by the end of the day. I tried to have my legs waxed last night but they wouldn't do it because of the swelling. Oh well, part of the process. I will take swelling over back pain or nausea any day though!

I have been feeling great these last couple of weeks and have actually been enjoying the pregnancy.I hope it continues. Summer has definitely arrived, and it has been 95 degrees here all week. Joy!

So my little man is doing good and kicking my stomach and making it move. It is so exciting to be able to watch my stomach move now!

25 weeks

Only 15 weeks left...that is crazy to me! I can't believe how time has actually flown by. Things have gotten much better. I have been feeling great. I hope it stays this way for a while. I can handle this.

I guess throughout the pregnancy there will always be something, at least for me. There were a few days this week that the baby wasn't as active as usual, and it brought out my worry wart side. Apparently he was just fine though because the last couple of days he has been doing cartwheels. I love it when he's moving!

The hubby painted the nursery this week. It looks so good and makes me even more excited for September. He put together the furniture, so now the room has a dresser and a changing table. He is still working on the crib, which I think he'll have finished in June. I love it.

24 weeks

Ah, the age of viability. That makes me really happy, but of course I know he needs to be in there much longer! He has been a mover and a shaker, in fact, just last night was the first night that the hubby was able to feel him move. It was a really great moment. I love feeling him move. That is when I am most happy.

So things have been looking up for me. My back hasn't been hurting me as much...that or I am just getting used to it. It still hurts but it is definitely better. I went to see the orthopaedic doctor this week and he wants me to do physical therapy twice a week. My doctor agreed that would be a good idea. Everything is looking great and we are still proceeding as a normal pregnancy. I just can not wait until September!

Cute Pregnancy Countdown

22 weeks

So it has been a rough couple of weeks. My back/butt has been killing me and I ended up having to call the doc and go in for a visit. I can sometimes barely walk, or lift my left leg. It is very painful and the task of standing can sometimes seem like a chore. She has set me up an appointment to see an orthopaedic doc, which I don't see for another week and a half. Until then she prescribed tylenol and heat. I don't think they will be able to do much, unfortunately. She hates that I may just have to deal with it for 4 months, and so do I but what can ya do? It gets better when I take it easy, but that is hard because I have a hard time sitting still and I have things I need and want to do. All week I had been feeling better and then after getting out and doing some shopping and going to spend time with family, my back is hurting pretty bad again today.

I knew I may have some tough times. It has been a bit emotional for me too. I have cried a lot about it and been extremely sensitive. My feelings get hurt easily. These hormones are out of control. I have been getting extra sensitive about my body as well, as I see it changing. I wish I had been in better shape when I had gotten pregnant. I have a feeling my back would have an easier time too. I think that all of this extra weight on my petite body has overdone some joints.

Ok, so that is enough whining and complaining. This is an honest blog though and I want it to be real and so it won't always seem like everything is great. It has definitely been hard. Every time he moves though (which is a lot) I get so happy. I have so much to look forward to with my son. I can handle 4 more months. It will all be worth it.

He's a movin!

I am officially halfway through the pregnancy as of today. 20 weeks. Wow. It's crazy how it seems like time has just dragged and now it seems like those 20 weeks flew by. I know I still have a lot to do, but I am so ready for September to get here so that I can meet my little man.

Little bit is moving a lot the last couple days or so! In the ultrasound I saw how much he was moving, but couldn't really feel him. I had been feeling him here and there and still had not been exactly sure what was him and what was gas/hunger. :) Now I can tell the difference. It is fabulous! I am so blessed. I love him so much.

Things are going really well. I still can't say I love being pregnant, but the 2nd trimester is definitely better. The doctor and I discussed that my main obstacle throughout this pregnancy will probably be muscular skeletal due to the arthrogryposis and my height. She said I'll probably experience more pain and difficulty early on but that we will get through it. My back has already been killing me. It started early on really, but now it is getting worse. Some days are better than others. I am lucky to have such a great hubby. He is always ready to give me a massage when needed and tries to make me as comfortable as possible. The pain was more sciatic at first and now it seems to be concentrated more in the middle and lower back. With my belly shifting out, things are getting more difficult. I have the hubby help me with my socks now, because that is becoming more difficult. Also getting up and down off the ground is harder. I can't imagine what 8 months will be like. I wish that I had lost some weight before this because I am sure things may have been easier.

I have always been so determined so I know that this will be fine and that I will get through it. I know it will be hard but I have faith in myself. I also have so many wonderful people around me that will be there to help me.

It's a boy!

Well, I am now 19 weeks pregnant! Almost halfway there! I have been pretty busy so I haven't had a chance to write in a while. Things are going great and the hubby and I couldn't be happier that we are expecting a boy in September.

We went in for the ultrasound a couple weeks ago. That week was what seemed like the longest week ever. The ultrasound was done at a high risk clinic. They checked out everything. It is so amazing what they can do and see in an ultrasound. Well, it turns out our little man is not shy at all. He let us know he was a boy right away. Emotions took over and both the hubby and I just had tears down our face. That moment made everything seem so real. We have a little boy. We felt so blessed and lucky. He is a healthy little boy too! Everything went great and because it went so well and he is doing so well, we no longer have to go to the high risk clinic. The doctor that did the consult said our little man was developing normally and looked great. More tears of joy! (This time in my car on the way home)

Needless to say, life is good. Things like that make the back pain, heartburn, nausea, etc. all worth it! So excited for September!

16 weeks

Only 2 weeks until I find out if I am having a boy or a girl! I am soo excited and hope that it doesn't take forever. Once I find out we can finally start shopping and painting and even start the registry!! I just can't wait!

So my ultrasound is scheduled with another clinic, Maternal and Fetal Medicine. Doctor's orders. I wasn't particularly excited and in agreement with the doc on this. According to my research and even hers, arthrogryposis is not genetic and the chances are very low for me to have a child with arthrogryposis. She insists that I see them though, just because they are able to do a consult and more thorough ultrasound. I said ok. It won't hurt for sure. I am just excited for the ultrasound.

My brother in law and his wife had their baby this week! She was a month early but she is healthy and doing great! She was able to go home yesterday. I am so happy and excited for them. She is beautiful. They chose to not find out the sex so it was a suprise that it was a girl!

So 16 weeks is great. I am feeling good and enjoying getting bigger. I still have a little sickness here and there but for the most part everything is great. So ready for 18 weeks when I find out!

Shopping time :)

Today I am finally caving in and buying maternity clothes. My clothes are so snug and I have one pair of work pants that fit (tightly) right now. I am starting to show! It is so exciting and makes it feel so real! I am having my sister come with me so that she can make sure I do not pick out anything hideous. I feel like as I have gotten older, it has become more about the comfort than the look, which is fine, but I want to be a cute pregnant girl, so hopefully she will help me find something cute and comfy.

I have been feeling great lately. I could get used to the second trimester. I still have had my random times of nausea, but for the most part that has tapered off. I have found that it is becoming harder and harder to sleep on my stomach. I feel like I am laying on a tennis ball, and it just feels weird so I have started trying to slep on my sides. I'm going to buy a body pillow today and I hope that will help some.

I now have a crib thanks to my parents. It's not the crib I have always wanted...the beautiful chocolate sleigh crib that converts all the way to the teenage years...no. It is better. It's a drop down crib. I have been stressing out about the crib being difficult to reach the baby and place the baby in, and now I do not have to worry. I am very greatful. Like I said, it's not beautiful, but it's definitely more realistic for me and I would rather be able to care for my baby. The hubby is going to paint it a different color for me, so that is great. I just need to find furniture to match it, at a reasonable price. Any suggestions??

That's all for now. I am 15 weeks and loving it. I find out if it's a boy or girl in 3 weeks!!!

Welcome Back Energy

Hey everyone, sorry I missed last week, things have been pretty busy. I am now 14 weeks preggers. I am feeling much better, and definitely loving this return of energy. I still get pretty tired by 8pm. I am just glad to be feeling better.

I had my second doctor's appointment this past week. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat!! It was incredible. My heart just melted. I can not wait to meet my precious baby. The heartbeat was good and the doctor said everything was going great. My next appointment is for an Ultrasound on April 8th. We will find out the sex of the baby then!

Clothes are fitting tighter and tighter each day. I'm about to cave and buy maternity clothes. My belly is finally showing just a little. I love it. Since I have gotten my energy back a bit, I am going to start walking again. I really want to be in shape for when the baby comes. The hubby and I went for a nice walk today. Now that the weather is getting better I hope to do that more often. I am tired of getting out of breath so easily.

Well everything is going really great right now, and we are more and more excited each day. That's about all I have to report for now. Thanks for reading!

Meltdowns and Migraines

Hello everyone. So, I'm 12 weeks, and finally seeing the light at the end of the first trimester tunnel. Things are looking up, and I have been getting my energy back. The morning sickness has faded quite a bit. Now, if I could just get rid of these dern migraines.

Thursday night it started. It had been a very long and busy week, and it was ending with a night of tornado warnings. Not only did I have a migraine but I couldn't sleep because of the storms. I was up for work at 4:15am because I was tired of just laying in bed. I felt miserable. I made it to work only to find out I had left my entry badge in the building the day before. I had to wait for someone to get there and let me in. Not a great start. My migraine was working on me hard, and finally I had to just go home. I left a couple hours early and went home. I slept for about 4 hours, only to wake up and still have the migraine.

This may have triggered my meltdown. I have been pretty calm for the most part when I think about the baby and how I will be with him/her. Last night, everything seemed to hit me. I was asking my hubby for help cleaning something and then it just hit me. I am going to be a mom. Mom's are supposed to be able to do everything. That is what makes moms so very amazing. So I started bawling. The hubby was confused and I couldn't talk about it for a minute, but finally I opened up. My husband is so amazing. He helps me with so much. I told him how I was freaking out because there were things I may not be able to do and how I want to be wondermom and be able to do everything. I told him about how I am super nervous about being able to do everything for the baby. Well, he has a way of always making me feel better. He reminded me of the things that I can do, and how I have never ever quit at anything I have ever wanted to do. I really do have an amazing husband.


We have decided to get a fake baby and practice. I really didn't like this idea at first but I think it will help. I think it won't be easy, but I will find ways to do what I need for our baby. I am excited about the journey we have ahead of us.

11 Weeks

There are no big changes this week, just a lot of extra heartburn. I have been popping my tums, which seem to help for a little while. I never really had heartburn before this and never really knew what it was. I just knew there were tons of commercials for it, so it apparently affected some. I now know how unfortunate those people that get it are. It hurts!

I have been so ancy for March 8th. I have many new questions for the doctor. Nothing too serious, I just want to make sure I am doing everything right. I find it very difficult to get the recommended nutrients when many of the foods that are great for me and baby make me sick at this time. Thank God for prenatal vitamins. I have always loved food. Right now, not so much. I am so ready to have an appetite again. I am also ready for my crazy sensitive smeller to calm down. Will it?

I am so ready to enjoy being pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatic about being pregnant and am so grateful. My dad told me God gives us amnesia. By the end of the pregnancy and when I see my beautiful baby, I will have forgotten all about that terrible heartburn and morning sickness. I believe him too.

Until next time...

To Know or Not to Know...

I am 10 weeks pregnant! I am ready to be 14 weeks pregnant, ha! I hear that the sickness starts to go away after the 1st trimester for most. I truly hope this is the case. The hardest part for me is the headaches. If it turns into a migraine, I'm screwed. Tylenol just doesn't cut it. I can deal with the nausea, but a bad migraine for me is killer. Other than that, things are great. My next appointment is March 8th. It's like waiting for a vacation. The weeks drag on because I am just so excited for each appointment. I want to know whats going on and how my baby is doing. The one after that will be even harder because I will find out the sex! Then I can start buying stuff.

So when my husband and I decided to start trying to get pregnant, we decided to do a pre-pregnancy checkup. We actually had two, because about a year or so ago we were going to start trying but I changed jobs, so we held off until we were settled. The first doctor we saw we ended up not liking quite as much as we would have liked. He was big on fertility and genetics, and was not very personable. I felt like the person that delivered my baby needed to be personable. That was important to me. Anyways, he felt that because of my disability, we should see a genetics specialist. Now, there is a part of me that would like to know whether or not my baby could possibly have arthrogryposis or any other disability. Really though, would that change anything? I'm not going to decide against having a baby just because there is a chance of that. Not knowing is better for me. Really it was the only option.  My husband and I both agreed on this. What difference would knowing make? None. My current doctor, who I love, mentioned genetics as well. We told her we were not interested. We also turned down the Chorionic Villus Sampling. Our doctor was very supportive of our decision.

So the hubby and I are just as excited as ever for this pregnancy. I am looking forward to maternity pants! It will be nice to have an excuse to wear pants that stretch.

First post!

Hello everyone! Thanks for checking out my blog. This is my first post of hopefully many. I have tried this several times before and failed to keep it up. This time will hopefully be different. I wanted to create a blog specifically about my experience with pregnancy. This may seem like nothing special, but I am pregnant and have arthrogryposis. This may end up not being any different from any other pregnancy. We will see.

Before I even started trying, I searched the internet for information on pregnant women with arthrogryposis. I could hardly find anything. I want to do this so that maybe I can help someone like me one day understand a little more and know what to expect. This will also be a great way for me to just look back on the experiences (good and bad) of my pregnancy.

Currently I am 9 weeks pregnant. Morning sickness: check. Heartburn: check. Moodiness: check. Insert pregnancy symptom here: check. Whew, I give props to the moms out there. This is way harder than I ever imagined. It will all be worth it though. My husband and I are just over the moon excited. I had my first ultrasound and Dr's appointment last Friday. Everything looked great. Heartbeat was 172 which the doc said was a really good sign. Just a note: my doctor's name is Dr. Storck!! (pronounced stork) Oh yeah how cool is that. Anyways, the appointment went great...up until it was time to give endless amounts of blood for tests. Lets just say an hour and a half later I had several bruises from being stuck with no luck. I have tiny, invisible veins. I HATE giving blood. My next appointment is March 8th. I am sooo excited.

So...that's where we are today. I hope you enjoy. I am not much of a writer, so hopefully I won't bore you too much. Thanks for reading!!