Friday, September 9, 2011

Little Buddy

For the sake of our privacy and with this being a public blog, I will call our baby Little Buddy, and abbreviate that to LB. That's what I have been calling him, and I'm sure it will stick, at least for me. So LB will be 4 weeks old on Monday. Time is flying already! He is so perfect and precious, and I am so so in love. He is just the best baby and hardy ever cries, at least for now. He did have a fussy time yesterday but unfortunately I think he may have a cold, and might even have some reflux.

So the last 4 weeks have been great. I love LB so much. I have had my ups and downs though. My hormones have been out of control. Things are pretty difficult with arthrogryposis, and mix in some crazy hormones and you get a hot mess. The first couple of weeks I pretty much let the hubby do everything. I was scared I would hurt him or wouldn't do something right. The only thing I was good at was hold him and singing to him and talking to him. I could tell he adored me, which made things a lot easier, but I was still depressed that I wasn't able or felt like I could do more.

I wanted to breastfeed so bad. That was my first set-back. It was too difficult to find a good position to hold him in, plus my milk never really came in very good. Then we went to formula and fed him with a bottle. Who knew holding a baby and a bottle and trying to burp him would be so hard. That has been the hardest thing for me, and feeding my baby is the most important thing! Can you imagine how my emotions have been? I have been having the hubby feed him most of the time. I have mastered diaper changes and even changing clothes, but the feeding...ahh. It is so hard. I just don't want to jostle him too much and I don't want to hurt him when I'm moving him around trying to burp him. The hubby says I do great but I just am not the most confident with that yet.

I still have things I have to learn that I haven't had to really deal with yet, like getting the carseat out of the car. I will get there. I am feeling more confident every day. I hope to master the feeding soon. It is tough though, but like I have done with everything else growing up, I will keep trying until I get it! My little one deserves it. He truly is great and so patient with me. I am so blessed.